ughughugh/EUUUGHHH

So today against all better judgements, I agreed to get coffee with an old exboyfriend of mine. Now you may be thinking "But Andy! Your best friend is an exboyfriend of yours, why would this be weird?" Well let me tell you why! This boy, Matteo, was my first real boyfriend. He took my virginity (yes, I was once a virgin, I'm shocked too) and pretty much fucked me over. Didn't let me see Lazarus period, started a lot of nasty rumors about me after we broke up... just general terrible things. But now he wants to be friends again, and it was been over a year, so I went out to get coffee and catch up with him.

It was actually rather nice, he has a car so for once I didn't have to shlep on my bike, and it was raining and wonderful and he smokes as much as I do so neither of us minded the car getting completely hot boxed. We went to one of my favorite cafes, Au Coquelet. It was really great, albiet a bit awkward, but altogether a positive experience.

And then disaster struck "Oh hey there's my friend Oli-OH MY GOD THAT IS LAZ'S NEW GIRLFRIEND WE HAVE TO LEAVE NOW"

We ended up running out the back entrance and chain smoking for twenty minutes in which I told myself over and over again that I am pretty and interesting and she is chubby and asian. And then we entered again through the back and acted surprised. They took our fucking table. I just put on my prettiest best face and was genuinely friendly and nice to them. Laz's girlfriend just avoided eye contact and looked really uncomfortable. Which made me laugh. A lot.

Then we left and he drove me home and we totally boned

Just kidding he has a girlfriend and I would never again. But he does smell very nice.

MY LIFE IS ODD.