DRUNK MONDAYS: RULES

1. There must be more than one person involved in Drunk Monday formal, because drinking alone is sad and even though we are all obviously alcoholics there is no reason we can't have fun on our roads to happy destruction.

2. NO THREE WHEELING!!! If two people in the Drunk Monday circle are fucking, there must be someone there for the other person to fuck or it's just not fun for anyone.

3. No less than two people, no more than five.

4. All drinking should be done out of Berkeley. Too small a town, too many possible people to run into.

5. No one gets arrested.

6. Don't talk about Drunk Mondays.

7. DON'T TALK ABOUT DRUNK MONDAYS!

8. No Sjell, Jordan, Seabass, exboyfriends, potential drama instigators, typically sad people, pussy drinkers or not-actually-our-friend friends.

9. No weed. Nobody wants weed on beer day.

10. Don't be a dick and use what may be talked about during Drunk Monday against other members. Do this and face being permanently banned from the slightly depressing funfest.

11. No matter how drunk one may get, always have their back. Even if they're being a damn fool.

Best worst idea ever.

i broke down and made a twitter/you can hate me, i do too

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Thanks all. Shameless self-promo, who gives a fuck.

exciting life news/not really/nothing happens to me

So Laz and the hipster bitch broke up. She dumped him obviously, he was enjoying getting laid on a regular basis with someone who doesn't yell at him to "cum al-fucking-ready" when she gets bored and hungry (ME). I would like to make it very very clear that I have no negative feelings towards this girl, I only really remember her from one instance at Sophie's house a couple years back when this girl ate a club pot brownie and over dosed. It answered a few questions I had been pondering with at the time (do asian people have lower tolerances? YES. can you OD off pot? YES. how many times can this bitch throw up? MANY MANY TIMES) and I split before the ambulance was even called, so there were no real implications for me. Except Sophie getting kind of pissed at me for not helping her clean up this girl's puke.

But really, I hardly know her at all. She made my Lazarus happy, so I was a fan. But then she dumped him like a week into their relationship, which is kind of bitchy, but I can't hate her just for breaking up with my friend. That's just immature.

What bums me out about the whole episode is that Laz is depressed again. I swear he PMS's backwards- generally pretty happy and functional for about a week and then really fucking moody and depressed the rest of the month. I try to make him happy, but it's difficult due to him not actively wanting to have sex with me. I can't flash him when he's feeling down anymore, I guess that's crossing a line. Plus it wouldn't be anything special that he hasn't seen before. More like "Oh, hey Andy's tits" as apposed to "BOOBIES!!!".

This is really fucking terrible. Sorry followers, I took a LOT of Vyvance (ADD meds->legal speed!) tonight. My jaws about to huuurt tomorrow.

Love, Andy

(What the fuck am I saying?)

ugh/my internet usage is like a tangle of wires/IMPOSSIBLE

I have different Gmail's for almost every website I use everyday, and they automatically sign me into my connected email once I log into my account on whatever site. This is actually really really aggravating because my 'formal' email, the one I use for my professors to contact me (which they do. before every fucking class. who told teachers about the internet, I would like to disembowel them.) isn't connected with fucking ANYTHING else I do on the internet. And for good reason, hah.

I realize this is a complete WHITE GIRL PROBLEMS post, but it's fucking irritating to have to log into my email five different god damn times when I want to make my rounds on the internet.

fuck it i'm drunk enough

I can't stop crying. Literally. I've been crying for over an hour and it just won't stop. How am I typing so good? I'm a fucking genius! The drunk typistgenius. I told Laz I wasn't drinking and that I was soooo okay with him screwing thst chubby asian whore when little does he know that every night I cry my fucking eyes out and drink bottles of wine and gina nd juice type cockatisl all by myself in my bed

holy fuck I am so sad

I'M GOING TO KILL YOU I'M GOING TO KILL YOU ALL I HAVE KNOWN HIM FOR TWO FUCKIG YEARS HE SHAS BEEN IN LVOE WITH ME FOR TWO FUCKING YEARS YOU HAVE BEEN FRIENDS WITH HIM FOR LIKE A MONTH WHAT THE FUCK GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY FUCKIBG LIFE HE IS MY BEST FRIEND AND I LOV HIM TO BITS BUT I WILL FUCKOING KILLL YOU DON'T FUKING EFUCKING WITH ME YOU STUPID SRUPID SUPTU WHOREA HIPSTER BI6HCES FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU

i am going to get drunk and cry now

Bye

get away from me

Dear Serena,

Get the fuck out of my universe please.

Thank you,

Andy