For a while I thought the cure to the situation I'm in, what with being on probation HELL for the next year, would be to dip out of life. Maybe start drinking again and go into a rehabilitation clinic, or threaten suicide and be put in a psych ward. Anything but dealing with the reality of what my life (the term life being used loosely) is currently.
I can't do any drugs.
I can't stay out alone past six.
I can't own a lighter.
I am required to allow any random searches or drug tests.
I'm not supposed to even associate with people who use.
My best friend in the world is in Germany, and will be for the foreseeable future.
My other best friend is chasing other girls and doesn't really want anything to do with me because I am fucking crazy. But that's his fucking problem.
So I have decided that in order to make my life manageable, all I need is a new bike, a new cute hair cut, and antidepressants.
For my hair, I want to get an undercut and dye the shaved part in a leopard pattern, dye the rest of my hair a sort of dark auburn, and get full bangs. I'll go to Blow salon, the place next to my dad's work, for the cutting and dying and get Olivia May to shave and bleach the rest of my mane.
I already picked out my bike, a pretty little vanilla 7 speed from Public bikes.
And as for the antidepressants, it's really up to my psychiatrist.
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