for the prettiest girl i've seen in a long time

Today, I was sitting under an apartment building’s awning to sheild myself from the rain and feel sorry for myself when a man in a car full of dogs parked in front of the building. He got out of the car and asked me why I was so sad. I told him simply that it was raining. He didn’t say anything to add to that, instead he got back into his car and came back out carrying a bouquet of what looked like a florist’s rejected orchids. He handed them to me and said, “For the prettiest girl I’ve seen in a long time.”

Orchids. They had to be fucking orchids. I gripped my fist tightly around the bunch of them, clipped stems pinching my fingers' flesh. A sunny apartment fills my mind, sweet with the smell of spring. A vase full of blood red orchids stand alone on the windowsill. Whore's flowers. I fill the vase with salt, and wait for the flowers to wither and die.

I watch the man drive away, in his van full of dogs. Bittersweet. I hate orchids, but I took them anyways. Because I’d like to believe I am the prettiest girl he’s seen in a long time. I deserve some god damn flowers.