conversation with lazarus

Me: I don't like him, I have a crush on him. Like if we were in the 3rd grade I'd write him a little "do you like me, check yes or no" note. Actually, I did that in high school too...

Laz: Yeah. Then fuck it! Do that! Be dorky as fuck! It's cute!

Me: It's only cute if they like you back. If they don't it's really really creepy.

Laz: Well, you don't even fucking know. God damn. Do SOMETHING.

Me: I don't know...

Laz: YOU'RE BEING RIDICULOUS.

This, dear readers, is why he is my best friend.

Nobody else calls me on my shit like he does.